6/01/2012

So what's been up?

Well, let's start with my results for the last couple of days before I start delving into the mental side of feeling good and feeling not so good.

Wednesday I cashed in 1 out of 10 MTTs and 0 out of 2 satellites. I also played about 1k hands of 25NL but came out about 1 buy-in loser. My 25NL session was similar to the day before in that I was winner most of the session and then got unlucky right as I was ending to lose a buy-in. Luckily though I am more worried about my play than I am that 1 buy-in, and I don't plan on being results oriented. I will look at the day as a positive because that is how I felt all day. Ever since my cash session in front of the television the other day I have been feeling great and so ready to grind.

Thursday I cashed in 1 out of 8 MTTs and 0 out 2 in satellites. I did make a final table in the $11 2.5k turbo but was only able to manage an 8th place finish. The day started a little rough for me when I noticed I had two more problem teeth when I glanced in my visor mirror on the way to get my pre-session meal. I just had some teeth work done two weeks ago and the thought of needing more, and how expensive it is almost made me queazy. I tried to stay on my path but as I got home and started playing I realized I was worried about my teeth and what I was going to have to do to get them fixed. After a few minutes I think I pulled it together and played my game for the majority of the session. The reason I say majority is because after taking a couple beats late while on my last MTT, I made a couple bad plays. That "hurry up and spew and get off this table feeling" started to try and creep in. I really only made one horrid play when I over-shoved pre with 77 and got called by K8dd and he flopped an 8. Luckily I had him covered and I was able to come to the quick realization that there was no need to be that weak and I started playing my game again. I pulled it back together and chipped back up over the course of the next hour before running KK into AJo. We got it all-in pre and he flopped an A.

After being a little weak for a moment and almost letting negative feelings in that would cause me to play with emotion, I decided to take a break and watch the Spurs at OKC Thunder. I was very happy to see OKC win a game and play well. As I was watching the game I decided to grab my laptop and see what the guys in the poker chat was doing. Several guys were breaking out of their norm and playing cash on Lock. Lock poker recently left the Merge network after buying out Cake and creating the Revolution Gaming network. The change shook up the MTT schedule for a couple days and had a few guys trying their hand at cash. One guy was crushing 200NL, another was beating 50NL, and another was bum-hunting the HU rooms. I enjoyed a few minutes of railing and talking poker before realizing I was feeling totally different from earlier. I wanted to play. I did not want to play any MTTs but was in the mood the play cash.

I have played several thousand hands of 25NL full ring over the past week with minimal gain and decided I would play some HU. Right off the bat I was truly enjoying it. I was one-tabling 25NL HU and watching the OKC game and truly was just peacefully grinding. I busted the first guy pretty quick and he hopped. Soon after another guy jumped in the room and lasted about as long. After the second guy went broke and left I went and found another HU match but after about thirty hands that guy decided he had enough and he quit. I started chatting with my friend and explaining how I was really enjoying the HU and how I was running through the players pretty quick. We had a nice laugh and went over a couple hands before another guy came to my HU table. We were about ten hands in and I had already sent a message to my friend that my new opponent was by far the most capable I had run into. My buddy replied  that I could find another match because HU is partly about game selection. I responded that I still thought I had an edge and that capable players can be the best action because they will try and bluff some and they might not leave so quick. I proceeded to play this guy about 650 hands and beat him out of 7 buy-ins. I really think I played well and made great decisions. I did not play like a robot at all, I was balancing my range and picking up on his weaknesses, it was a good session.

In reflection I am very happy I was able to end the day on such a positive note, but I am really unhappy about my moment of weakness. I know lots of players have that feeling and that it can be common. But, I personally don't want it to be common for me. I am determined to keep improving and get to where I want to be, and for now I think the best thing for me is to be honest with myself and admit my faults. I know if I have a false sense of entitlement or think I am playing better than I am, it will only hold me back and stunt my growth. As hard as it is to admit I have had a few moments of weakness and want to get to the bottom of it. I will say that I was happy that my moment of weakness was shorter lived today than it was earlier in the week, and that is an improvement.

I hope y'all enjoy this little glimpse into the life of a poker grinder trying to find his way, and are able to possibly learn and improve as I have. Good luck to all the grinders out their, get that money.


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